Last year I decided that I wasn’t going to do NaNoWriMo again. There were a few reasons I gave at the time (word-counts stress me out, it’s mostly supposed to be for newbie writers, I have a day job that takes priority until someone wants to pay me for my writing) but honestly? This time last year I was in a very bad place and I was struggling to write anything at all.
This month I decided to get back on the proverbial horse and start writing novels again. Don’t get me wrong, my new found love for poetry has been a positive experience, but I do miss writing longer, fictional stories.
Down From The Tower is my main squeeze right now, as I’ve said previously, but I’m struggling to write more than a page a day, and I’m just not satisfied with that. I know I can do more. Time was I could knock out five pages without breaking a sweat, and ideally I’d like to get back to that. I’ve just gotten out of the habit, is all.
It’s a small project. Currently I’m calling it a stand-alone, but if it has a positive response I feel like there’s definitely room to make a series of it. I’m also only aiming for around 50K words, which is actually kind of perfect, because Camp NaNoWriMo starts in nine days.
When a fellow writing friend dropped me a line to ask if I’d be up for joining a cabin, I thought what the hell? Seriously, what do I have to lose at this point? Not much. What I have to gain, however, is that old, regular writing habit, and that’s something I really think it wouldn’t hurt to have help in re-cultivating in my life.
I’m excited, but a little nervous, too. It feels so much like I’ve been failing over and over again lately, so putting myself back out there has been difficult. I don’t want to fail again. There has to be a reason I can’t let this go, you know? There has to be a reason I’m still writing after all this time, after all the roadblocks and vastly disappointing outcomes of each project. I have to hope that I’ll get somewhere in the end if I just keep trying.